Contentment

The last year has been very emotional for me. I have had serious highs (trips to Boston, Canada, and Pennsylvania, to name a few) and some serious lows (sleeping, eating, working, and living on the sofa for days at a time). I have cried more tears than you can imagine. I have made myself sick from crying and worrying. I have ached, inside and out, in a way I never thought possible. After the first few months of my "situation", as I tend to call it, I thought I was fine. I travelled, spent time with friends, and only got REALLY upset every once in a while. Around January, I think things began to sink in. I didn't feel like I could get up and go. I didn't feel like I could make it through the day. Everything hurt - my heart, my whole body. I felt like the life drained right out of me and there was nothing left. I cried all of the time, I felt miserable, and I didn't feel like doing anything...

Then today I noticed that I have been feeling different lately. For a few weeks now, I feel like things have slowly been improving. I'm taking care of my house and myself (I finally got back to the gym and no more sleepovers on the sofa). I'm having more good days than bad. Maybe it's the sunshine and being able to get out, but I am beginning to feel happy again. I'm not saying I don't have my moments - I almost broke down crying while cleaning the floor today and I'm not exactly sure why - then after a minute, I was fine. I am feeling like myself again. And this is definitely a good thing.

By the way, I would have never gotten through the last year without a fabulous family and great friends. People I could call to come over when I was really upset, people who offered to help me financially, people who took care of me. Thank you. I love you all.